And in many places, that focus has become the justification for violence perpetrated upon gay men even till this day, with 12 states in America still banning sodomy 10 years after it was ruled unconstitutional.Īs many groups across the globe have worked to stop the violence, both systemically and socially, we have seen the urge to desexualise gay men in the mainstream representations of them and make them into fathers, your neighbor, your best friend or your mailman. But the one that has stood the test of time the longest is the discriminatory focus on the act of sodomy. It’s a human thing – if we let it be.Īround the world, gay men, bisexual men, and men who have sex with one another but don’t identify with either category, face down so many stigma for so many reasons.
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So it turns out that exploring the most private of private parts with your tongue, or getting pleasure from it, isn’t necessarily a gay thing. For straight men, while we do not have data to show if they had performed or received analingus during their last sexual encounter, we do know that according to a study published in 2010 by the Journal of Sex Research, over 51% of men have engaged in “in oral-anal sex, manual-anal sex, or anal sex toy use”. About 26.1% of those men had received and 25.4% had given in their most recent sexual encounter. Well, a 2011 study with a sample size of 25,000 gay men living in America found that gay men do like their analingus – just not as much as you might expect. A lot of people feel uncomfortable with anal sex. Most commonly, we say that anal play is gay. “Butt stuff is such a thing,” we say, as New York magazine’s Maureen O’Connor did earlier this year, before immediately getting grossed out at a phrase more lurid than that. It’s a shame that starts when we’re in diapers.” According to Glickman,who identifies as bisexual, even as adults, “We look for a reason to justify the taboo. unless they’re used in the same breath as a homophobic slur.Īs Charlie Glickman, a sex educator and the author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration of Men and their Partners, explained in an interview last year with Playboy: “We carry a lot of shame around our anuses. And rim jobs – or, to the unfamiliar, the act of having your anus stimulated orally – came in at 14%, which is quite surprising because straight men and their own behinds are rarely talked about in the same breath. In 2012, one-year before what is called a “watershed moment” for LGBTQ folks in America by many due a burst in progress, Esquire magazine asked 500 men another question: “During foreplay, what’s the one thing that you want more of from your current partner?” Blowjobs, apparently on the wane, were mentioned by 46% of the men surveyed “a little rough play” sat at 6%.
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